I've just spent all night downloading the rest of the songs from Skins. And finding Skins pictures. AND making my myspace profile as Skinned as possible. I had a good day today, after a bad night. Derek is really cheering me up these days, it's really great just to have someone to rely on. he seems to think i'm normal tho, which proves abit of a problem. my appointment went quite well this morning but i found myself welling up. i hate that. I'm not meant to do that. And it bugs me that noone will tell me what's wrong STILL. Noone's telling me how to fix my stupid head. It's so irritating.  stupidly I realised alot more of my problems come from home than I think. which is weird. I never thought that. I don't even know why I'm writing this. I only found it again so I could dowload those Skins songs. Oh how terrible of me. lol. Myabe putting some of my mad thoughts down somehow will help. I wish it would. Have you ever had the feeling someone's watching you, you can just feel it even if you can't see them? that's how i feel everyday. it makes me feel so insecure. i'm hungry again. i don't think i'll ever be able to lose weight. you think looking like a small killer whale would discourage that but no. i can't even binge & puke. it doesn't work for me. I don't even think I have that many cigerettes left. fuck. I don't even feel like doing anything right now. Sometimes I really treat this PC like a fucking lifeline.